freedom... to a point
One of the primary games that I’ve been playing recently is to see what it’s like when I let go of all planning. To stop living by a calendar and see how that changes the quality of my life. You can read more about how that experiment began here and here.
About a month ago I was sitting in a space where I realized I had nothing planned in any future moment. I had nowhere to be at any specific time in the future and my calendar was a completely blank slate. There was no commitment that I had to meet and there’s nowhere I had to be at any time. My future was completely and utterly open and I was free to go anywhere and do anything my heart desired.
I would venture to say that few people probably ever achieve this place in their lives and it was interesting to be in that place.
So what did that feel like?
Mostly … it didn’t feel any different. I think I expected to feel free. Yet, I really didn’t feel all that much different than how I had been feeling while in the process of attaining that goal.
So here’s what I really learned:
Freedom in and of itself doesn’t really matter.
It’s what you do with that freedom that matters. I can compare it to a blank canvas. I purposely created my life to be a blank canvas. I got there. And I was left with a blank canvas.
It’s what you choose to do with that canvas that truly matters. That space of freedom is meaningless unless I fill it with something meaningful. Choosing the colors with which to fill my life is what really matters. The freedom is just the space.
And I realized that what I had been doing to get there is what it was all about. The journey. Not the destination. But isn’t that our plight? Seeking, wanting, trying to “get there” when all that happens is that when you get there, you want to get somewhere else. So that’s all there is for me to do – create a game to play – play it – extract the lesson from it – then create a new game. The key is in enjoying the process – learning that it’s about the journey, not the destination.
So now I’m left with a blank space to create a new game. What’s life like when…
I’ll have to get back to you on that one. I’ll know when the right impulse strikes me 
It seems so simple, but it’s so true isn’t it? I can, in fact, have an entire blank slate set up in front of me (i.e. a whole day or two with no commitments or requirements beyond the ones I set) and still feel equally frantic or useless (depending on my day and mindset). It’s funny that you wrote this because I also read a blog about the “busy” people today and it’s just two sides of the same coin.
It seems that everything in life comes down to what you do with it… Hmm…
Yours,
Megan
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