Over the weekend I noticed a disturbing pattern in my day to day activities. I realized that I had developed a compulsion to get on my computer at different parts of the day in order to…
…get on my computer at different parts of the day.
I would check my email multiple times a day, get on facebook, tweetdeck, and follow link trails from one site to the next to youtube to another site, etc. until large parts of my day would fade away.
I was getting online and floating aimlessly about the web for hours on end.
This reminded me of another compulsion that I had while ago. I stopped watching TV early in 2009 because I realized it was sucking my life away. Before that I would tune into 24 hour channels and think that somehow I was connected to the world.
Then one day I realized that all TV was doing was filling my brain with negative news, useless drama, and stuff that had nothing to do with my life. It was information that was irrelevant, did not impact my life, or was only made to elicit ego-driven emotional responses in me without contributing anything truly meaningful to my life.
Over this past weekend, I realized that even thought it looked different, I was getting caught up in a similar pattern with my compulsion to get online. The internet is filled with interconnected content and it’s really easy to get sucked in. And it’s easy to justify it all – “I want to learn, I don’t want to miss out on what’s happening, I am checking my email because something might happen.”
Well, now I’m not getting online unless I am making something happen or have a specific purpose. This week I am interrupting my old patterns and am staying away from my computer and the internet on purpose to retrain my brain.
I am only getting online when I have a specific intent. (And I’m also seeing how easy it is to slip back into an old pattern if I’m not being conscious, even as we speak). Even if my intent is to surf around and read other people’s blogs for a few hours, at least now it will be intentional.
I’m reclaiming my life. It’s awesome since this is freeing up a lot of my time to read, which I’ve been enjoying more and more lately. I am spending much more time outside, seeing my friends, and generally having more fun on the meatspace side of life.
Step by step, my life is becoming intentional. (Now I think I’m beginning to understand what people mean when they say that.)
I’ve been noticing the same pattern in my own days. The “I want to learn, I don’t want to miss anything,” etc voice is the voice we have to ignore.
There’s an awful lot of great content out there – hundreds of excellent blogs updating daily. But it never ends. And if we’re going to make even a slight dent in the universe we have to stop consuming and face the projects and art we tell ourselves we’ll get around to.
you’re right it never ends. it’s almost like chasing infinity, isn’t it? I especially like your last statement!
Interesting piece- thanks for sharing.
The addiction to TV or the Internet (or both) is a real one, and congratulations to (minimally) noticing what it is, and what it is doing to you. I have a similar compulsion, and it’s one (Internet) I find hard to break. I think it is in part because I a curious person by nature and I love reading and learning new things. Unfortunately, there’s no shortage of new things online. Even if I restrict myself to the “good stuff,” there’s no shortage of that either.
I’d recommend picking up a copy of Edward Hallowell’s book, “Crazy Busy.” He is one the country’s leading voices on ADD and ADHD (he’s a doc who also says that most folks who think they have ADD or ADHD don’t). He calls the compulsion to TV, Internet, phones, etc., (basically anything with a screen) “screensucking.” It’s an interesting read.
Extra reading: an article from this month’s Wired magazine about the story of a boy in China who was sent to an Internet rehabilitation camp. Scary stuff. http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/01/ff_internetaddiction/
that’s funny – my girlfriend just was reading that article from my Wired magazine the other night and told me about it. that’s an interesting perspective – “screensucking” – there’s probably a lot to that. and I agree – ADD is probably just compulsion that 99% of the time could be handled with proper guidance
Markus,
yet again you’re hitting a nerve, man. I straight up disconnected my cable and internet at the beginning of the year. I found the access to some things was too easy and other things held me captive. I would sit down in front of the tv or computer because I was paying for it. I actually would feel guilty or stupid if I didn’t spend time in front of one of them because it was costing me. So my solution was to save my sanity, my money and my time…get rid of it.
Dude, you should have heard some of my friends and other people: “you need the internet, you’re going to miss this show, what about when that series comes on, blah blah blah.” I have boxes and bookshelves full of books that I have yet to read; magazines piling up under my coffee table that I’ve gotten behind on, friends and family that have been robbed of quality time because I “had” to watch HGTV for four hours or watch YouTube for five hours straight.
Now the only time I’m on the internet is at work or when I need to post a blog. I only watch tv when I’m popping in a dvd or at a friend’s house. It’s also saved on my electric bill cause the tv and computer aren’t on constantly. *smiles* the little things.
Hug your girlfriend because I’m sure she’s happy to have you back, lol.
“the little things. there’s nothing bigger, is there?” – Vanilla Sky. Time to go hug my girlfriend