Be careful of your decisions. But also be careful on indecision. Traps loom on both sides.
Decisions
By nature, we are decision making machines. Throughout our days we make countless decisions (some with larger consequences than others).
But what is a decision? It’s choosing from 2 or more options. “Yes I’ll have a coffee” vs “no I won’t have one.” “I’ll go to law school” vs “I will get a job” It runs even deeper when we label and decide who we are “I am trustworthy” vs “I let people down.” It happens in an instant hundreds of times per day. We decide what we’re gonna do, who we are, who other people are, etc.
One of the main problems with making a decision is that you murder or cut off the other option(s). (There’s a part in the Landmark Forum that’s absolutely groundbreaking at defining the nature of decisions). This isn’t a problem in and of itself except for the fact that were are unconsciously and continuously drawn to consistently act in accordance with previous decisions we have made. It’s a survival mechanism and allows us to run large parts of our life on autopilot.
There’s enormous pull created by past decisions. Our ego or sense of self is made up of all our previous decisions. There’s a need to stay consistent to protect our sense of self that we have created by deciding what we like or dislike, who we are, etc.
However, this often times leaves us trapped. My sister reminded me of a favorite quote yesterday: “would you really want to base your career on the decision of an 18-year old” (referencing the fact that so many people decided on a college major at that age and feel compelled to follow that decision for the rest of their lives).
Indecision
Does that mean we should avoid decisions? Being fearful of making the wrong decision is the other side of the sword. Indecisiveness usually stems from this belief. Ironically based on past decisions that “things didn’t turn out the way they should have” (which was a decision) which leaves a lot of people fearful to make new decisions. Yet deciding to be indecisive is still a decision.
We cannot escape making decisions. And if you refuse to make decisions, you will likely float like a log without real purpose and not be fulfilled either. So make decisions!
The only real way to avoid getting cut by this double-edged sword is to become conscious and aware of what decisions you are making throughout your life – and why you are making them. Are the decisions you made earlier in life serving you now? It’s all about waking up – to the current moment – and realizing deeply that no other decision in life is more important to the one you are making right now. And that it CAN be completely free and unencumbered by your past.
Deciding to make powerful decisions (especially ones that break the bonds of past decisions) is where the stuff of legends lies.
Oh so true.
I imagine sometimes we don’t want to look as liars if we are not consistent with previous decisions. Even though sometimes making another decision may be the best thing to do.
I can’t recall where I found this, or if I even have the quote right… but it was something like:
Life is the sum of decisions we did not make.
Becoming “conscious and aware of what decisions you are making throughout your life – and why you are making them” is a good start.
Highly effective decision makers go a step further by learning and applying proven decison-making methods,